Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
