it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
