Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
