Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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