Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
