Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
