I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
