So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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