just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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