yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
