gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He did a backflip because drugs
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