ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I think I died a long time ago.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize