We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize