I can feel you judging me through the phone.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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