White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
