Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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