Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
