I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
