I'm so fucking centered right now
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
