I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
