woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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