I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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