your room smells of hookers.
And success
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
