Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
