Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
