I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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