oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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