do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
