I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
