hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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