can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
you never un-have a 4some
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
