my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize