Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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