Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
