Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
