I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
