4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
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