Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
