Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
