): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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