sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
are you still at the devil's house?
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
