How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
