Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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