this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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