i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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