a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
