I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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