All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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