I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
