David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
this just has baby written all over it
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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