Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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