Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
