dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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