I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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