A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
