I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
