my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
