I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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