Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
