I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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