you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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