I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
