He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
