windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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