i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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