I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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